The Problems
In the previous post, I mentioned four specific problems that impact male MTs. Job discrimination, homophobia, the impression that men are always interested in sex, and the impression that women are more nurturing and better healers.
Job Discrimination
As I mention before, I got passed over in at least one instance for a job because I am male. I’m sure every other male therapist has and will encounter this particular problem at some point. Many of the male students that graduate from my program get disheartened when they experience this – I have come to see it as an opportunity.
It’s not OK for massage businesses to perpetuate this gender gap. They see it as catering to their clients, but really it is just reinforcing a major problem in our field.
When I was fresh out of school, I went to work for a massage business called Equilibrium in San Francisco that was opened by two of my classmates, one of them male. As I would listen to them on the phone booking appointments I learned something – it is really up to the business the impression they give to their clients. When a client would call asking for a female, they would start in pointing out out all of my virtues and almost every time the session would be booked. And then out of those sessions, almost every time the client was very happy with the experience. How do I know? Because of all of the “I never thought I would get such a great massage from a guy” comments I received.
We need to work to change the lopsided preferences in our field, while accepting that some legitimate concerns do and will always exist (abuse, religion…)
So what can a guy do about this?
First of all, don’t be afraid to say something. I used to just let it go and move on, but I’ve learned over time that it is important to speak up. There seems to be a prevailing attitude out there that “that’s how it is” and the businesses go with the flow. Never pass up this opportunity to educate. It may not help you personally, but it will help all of the men out there in the profession. In this respect, we certainly all must work together to address this issue. We’ll all benefit in the end.
Secondly, accept that things won’t change overnight and some won’t ever change. Move on and look for a place to work where it won’t be as much of a struggle. Look for places that are more male-friendly; establishments that are more sports, clinical/medical, or deep tissue oriented. In this respect, sometimes men even have an advantage. Men still dominate in sports massage (Benny Vaughn mentions it in his Olympic massage blog) and the perception remains that men can perform better deep tissue work.
Almost all spas want to have at least one man on staff because they will get some male requests. Be aware that at some spas, those requests might not be enough to keep you busy.
Once you’re working, one of the best things you can do as a male is to make sure that whoever books the appointments is on your side and trained to promote you well. Believe it or not, I’ve seen places where they almost talk down about their male therapists! The scheduler is the person who can help you the most so get them on your side! Make sure that they have experienced the wonders of your work. Make sure that they understand the challenges you face as a male MT and that they know to steer more non-gender-specific appointments your way. Make sure that they know how to sing your praises because when a person calls to book their appointment, the scheduler becomes a testimonial. They get asked often “who’s good” and ideally you want them to say your name. Train them how to say, “Yes, I had the same fear about seeing a male at first, but after one session with Mike I don’t go to anybody else.” If you an get the scheduler to say that on your behalf, great! Now the ball is in your court to deliver!
Part 3: Homophobia and Thinking Sex in Massage Therapy
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