I just returned from a trip (not by choice) to Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. Murder rates are sky high, crime is rampant and there is a three-way (at least) drug war going on. And the only place in Mexico to get a US resident visa happens to be there. Go figure.
When we got back onto American soil, I had a vision of how it is in the movies - where the hero returns home and kisses the sand of his homeland - and believe it, I understood exactly how he felt. It was good for my companions to have me there, even though as a gringo I stuck out like a sore thumb. And it was against this backdrop that I began pondering the idea of "creating a safe space" for your clients.
I've taught the concept of creating a safe space to my massage students for years. However, my recent experience very much deepened my understanding of it.
Everyone needs to have a safe place to be - to work, to play, to be. Good old Maslow placed safety in second place on his pyramid of needs - second only to physical existence needs like food and shelter. When we exist in a place in which we don't feel safe, our body's natural defense mechanisms kick in. Stress chemicals flood our bodies - cortisol, epinephrine (aka adrenaline) - as our bodies prepare to either flee from danger or to fight it. (More on stress in a later post) When we are stressed, we seek a safe haven to retreat to - a safe harbor to weather the storm and recuperate.
A Safe Space For Healing
Massage can be a truly therapeutic form of healing if this idea is taken to heart. Most of us therapists understand this on some level - Our clients seek us out to find that safe space for healing. This safe space can be physical - such as our office space, a quiet room, seclusion from the hustle and bustle of life outside, privacy. And it can be conceptual as well, like an invisible bubble that shields your client in the same way a physical space can - a blanket of trust, warm and welcoming energy, moral support, encouragement.
You see, all healing takes place when we are at ease. Relaxed, stress-free and safe. Stage 4 sleep. Massage. Studies have shown that we heal at least 50% faster when we are stress-free and relaxed. Interrupted sleep, high-stress jobs, constant activity all interfere with our bodies' ability to cope and recuperate.
One of the most profound benefits that you can offer to your clients is that safe haven. A place where they can go to get away from it all and focus on what they really need - healing at every level, emotional, spiritual, mental, physical. This safe space is one of the most important, yet most intangible qualities about the work we do. It is vitally important to our clients and our success as massage professionals, and it is one of the hardest things to communicate.
Creating a Safe Place
Trust
We all know that it is difficult to relax with somebody that we do not trust. We keep our guard up and remain wary and suspicious. But we also all know (I hope!) the feeling of ease we get when we are with someone we can trust and let down our guard, take off the mask we show the world and just relax. Trust is something that can be granted in a surprisingly short period of time when the stage is right. It is impossible for our clients to trust us if we don't first start with the wholehearted intention to do well by them (see point #3)
Consistency
Consistency will build trust over time. We humans enjoy the stability that comes with regularity. It is difficult to trust and relax when we are on edge from not knowing what is coming next. When we do know what to expect, we get "in the groove". Consistency is comfortable. Think of all of the little things that you do the same way, just because it feels right. Brushing your teeth, crossing your arms, even the way you walk - it's all habitual. Clients will come to you not just because of the great work you do, but that you have a groove they can relate to, that is comfortable to them. They don't want things shaken up every time (or to come and listen to your drama). They want the stability and strength that rises from the Earth element. We can foster this consistency by creating little rituals - starting and ending your session the same way, greeting our clients the same way, finding out what they like and making sure it is there for them every time. Clients are attracted to the familiarity you create, if they aren't, they go elsewhere to find it.
Intention & Attention
These two go hand in hand. First you must start with the intention to build this safe place, then you must pay attention to the details to make it so. Make sure you ground yourself sufficiently before each and every session - clear your thoughts of your to-do lists and the guys who cut you off on the freeway on the way to the office - those aren't client-centered thoughts. Bring your whole attention to your client, because that is your role to play, the "safe space maker", so that they can heal the way they need to.
Remember the Process
Healing occurs in its own time. Let it take its course. Your job is simply to create a conducive environment. That doesn't mean that healing will take place, only that it can.
Playing It Safe
A key to remember is that healing only occurs when the client is ready. I have known many therapists (massage and otherwise) that have grown frustrated that a client doesn't seem to be making any progress. Well they never will until they're ready and I always say that
"You can't inflict healing, it must occur from within."
Creating a safe place is the first step in the process as the client's mind will never allow the healing to begin in an unsafe environment. Healing requires one to drop their defenses. If you can do this for your clients, you can bring to them the same feeling of overwhelming relief and joy as I felt as I passed into El Paso and touched home again. The funny thing (or not so funny) is that the stress of the trip has lingered and I still haven't been able to fully relax yet.
I think I'll head over to my safest massage therapist to find my peace of soul.
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