Bad Experiences

Another Critical Thinking Exercise from class...

The Question:

Think of a really bad experience you had with a “professional”, a business, or a service provider.

1. What went wrong – with the circumstance and the resolution process?
2. What happened after? Was it resolved?
3. If you were them, what could you do to have prevented or dealt with this situation?

The Ugly

The students had some fun with this one. I mean, who doesn't like to tell their horror stories about something like this. Statistically, if someone has a bad experience with a business, they will go and tell at least 10 other people about it. Why? Because people love to gossip about this stuff and see people's reactions ("They did what?!"). If only they did the same thing when they have a good experience.

These stories ranged from a hotel room paid for a month in advance with a bug infestation and the fight to get their money back, to a dentist that started drilling without anesthesia or permission, to auto sales, to insurance claims, to omnipresent and dastardly telecom companies, to a doctor that assumed everybody that he saw was filing a fraudulent workman's compensation claim and refusing to actually do his job and diagnose their pain, to a landlord taking a complaint about an authorized cat to the level of screaming that their tenant was a bad mother and a worthless human being. Man! Everybody has one of these stories to tell.

We've all had these ugly experiences. Getting shuffled from department to department and having to explain the same thing over and over to an army of people, none of whom are equipped to help you with your problem. Skepticism or outright disbelief that you, the customer, are actually telling them the truth!

The Bad

In these student stories, we identified a number of common themes that make for a bad experience:

1. Rude, abrasive, aggressive, or insulting: This one was common. Resorting to insults and attacks will never turn the conversation in a positive direction. In fact, it will almost inevitably escalate the hostility in the conflict. If a client does this to you, it still isn't right to return the favor.
2. Assumptions: We all know the old saying here about assume and "u and me". There is a distinction between using experience to make an educated guess in anticipating the needs of another and making an assumption that you already know what they're thinking or want.
3. "Own Agendas": One of the biggest problems I see with unsuccessful MTs/sessions is that the therapist thought they knew better than the client about what was right. That way the needs were ignored. You use your knowledge to inform your work, but we don't dictate to the client what is right for them (and it is unethical to do anything that benefits you at their expense!)
4. Conflicts of Interest: Who are they really working for? You or their shareholders? This goes hand in hand with having your own agenda. Client-centered practices require that you do what is best for your client. It should for all business!
5. Bait & Switch: Of course this is illegal as well as unethical. Misleading clients into getting something other than what they expected won't win any hearts.
6. Lack of Concern: They just don't care about you and your life, only about your customer number, payment history, profitability. Massage is a people business, so caring is our business. Don't make this mistake.
7. Incompetence: There's no excuse for not knowing what you're doing or what you're selling. One student had an experience where the sales clerk didn't even know the most basic things that they sold in their store, before copping an attitude about it!
8. NOT LISTENING: Big one, this, and common. It goes along with agendas, rudeness, and others. When customers get angry, it's most often because they aren't being heard (of course this is set off by something). You can't solve the problem if you don't listen to what it is.

The Good

Whew! A lot went wrong, didn't it? On the other hand, the class identified a number of themes as being essential to the relationship either to begin with... or to repair it when things have gone wrong.

1. Boundaries: Know what you are willing to give and take and stick to it. Communicate it clearly and firmly and keep things "in bounds". Limit discussions to the matter at hand. That landlord was way out of line for calling her a bad mother simply because she had a cat!
2. Respect: We've all heard of the Golden Rule - treat other the way you would want to be treated - but the platinum rule takes it to the next level - treat others the way that they would want to be treated. Not everybody wants to be treated like you would. This automatically rules out aggression, insults, and dismissal.
3. Follow Through: If you say you're going to do something, do it. No excuses. You should always operate this way, but when you are trying to mend a relationship, it is an absolute must. Don't make promises you can't keep.
4. Accomodation: Know what you are willing to part with or what you are willing to do to placate this customer. Figure this out ahead of time so that you don't make a mistake in the moment. It may include bending the rules a little - like coming in on your day off or staying late for them, or comping a service or gift certificate. Remember - a customer who had a problem that was resolved to their satisfaction is more loyal than a customer who never had a problem at all.
5. Communication: Honestly, most conflicts are the result of mis-communication. Don't make it worse by continuing the mistake. Make sure that you take extra efforts to ensure that both parties are clear on the message. Listen. Listen. Listen. Often, when people are angry, it is mostly out of frustration that they are not being heard. Allow them to speak. Make sure you pay close attention not just to the words, but to the meaning behind them.
   
6. Informed Consent: They want to know what their in for and it is your job to let them know. Build realistic expectations with your clients and make sure you give them all of the information they need in order to make an educated decision about what is right for them.
7. Professionalism: Conduct yourself appropriately and diplomatically. Make sure you maintain your client-centered attitude throughout. Professionalism is a skill and a habit. Make sure you think about these kinds of situations ahead of time and figure out how you would like to handle them to create and ideal resolution.
8. Deliver: Make sure they get what they pay for. Don't overstep your bounds (and scope of practice), but make sure you live up to your billing. Make sure you bring your A-game to the table every time, for every client, without fail.

Once again, an excellent discussion. Mind you, I helped to frame some of these terms, but my students came up with all of this on their own, simply by relating their own stories. Kudos!

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